Dance until it starts to Hurt
by new.years.eve
Summary: Meredith and Derek are married with a daughter. Everything is groovy until some devastating news turns their life upside down. FINAL CHAPTER... is up
1. Now we're swinging to the time

**New fanfic- Merder, obviously... includes Izzie, George, Denny, Mark and Addi.**

**Summary- Meredith and Derek are married and have a daughter. Everything is groovy until some devastating news that turns their world upside down.**

**Got the idea from Will Youngs song Dance the Night Away- do not ask!! lol...**

Meredith was walking at snail-pace speed towards the doors of the hospital where she worked. She was deep in thought about Seattle Grace and the time she had spent there. She had survived the whole of her internship, residency and fellowship having not started well by sleeping with her boss and making a few enemies on the way, but overall she had survived. Just.

She was now, with her husband (the person who got her into all the trouble she had been involved in during her residency) one of the 5 attendings of surgery. Over the last few years she had almost died, lost her mother, fallen in and out of love with Derek countless times, been a dirty mistress, become a married woman and experienced the most painful event in any person's life- no matter what men said about being kicked in the groin- childbirth. Childbirth was the worst thing she had ever been through until she saw the light at the end of the tunnel which was the little girl who was stood beside her. At that present time she had found something extremely intriguing, that being an autumn leaf, and had stopped her slow walking altogether to pick it up.

"Mummy, a weaf," She pronounced differently. She had not quite mastered the essential consonants such as L's, R's and T's which not only made her language cute but also incredibly hard to decipher.

"Yeah, it is," Meredith replied, as enthusiastically as she could at six in the morning.

"It's preddy," She giggled.

"Yeah," Meredith smiled, "What colour is it?"

"Wed!"

"BINGO!" Meredith exclaimed and started laughing at her daughter as she did her infamous happy dance. This dance was the definition of her being and she certainly carried it off well. When she was in her mother's womb she would kick and move furiously whenever a song was played. She had rhythm from the offset and came out of Meredith literally dancing. Hence, the name Maika, meaning dance child, was given to her.

Meredith didn't want to break it to her daughter that the leaf was in fact orange and yellow so let the dance continue.

"Do you want and come in and see daddy?" Meredith asked her daughter, having a feeling the dance and distractions of such things like pigeons and leaves could go on for a while.

"Yeah," the little girl's face lit up even more, if possible, at thought of her father.

"Let's go then," Meredith said, holding out her hand for her daughter to squeeze tightly as they crossed the courtyard to the entrance of Seattle Grace.

"DADDY," A scream appeared from the depths of the corridor behind Derek. He turned around to see the little legs of his daughter running towards him as fast as she could. Her arms were up by her shoulders and her head was thrown back in concentration that was needed for her to run.

"MAIKA," Derek imitated the high-pitched scream that was aimed towards him back at his daughter and bent down to receive what he knew was going to be a bear hug. She hit him at full force in the middle of the walkway that was hovering over the entrance hall to Seattle Grace.

"What are you doing here?" He asked into her shoulder whilst standing up and bringing her with him.

"Mummy," She said simply as if it was ridiculously obvious. She pointed in the direction of the archway she had just emerged out of and moments later Meredith appeared smiling at her loving husband.

"What are you doing here?" He asked again to a person that would actually be able answer him with some useful information. He walked over to Meredith and placed a kiss on her cheek, lingering slightly to whisper under his breath, "You look damn hot today."

She giggled at his inappropriate comment and hit him gently on the arm that was not holding Maika.

"I have a shift and Didi couldn't babysit again," Meredith said with a fed up tone.

"I'm telling you," Derek told her whilst walking towards the elevator with Maika still in his arms and still resting her head on his shoulder, "She is the most unreliable babysitter I have ever come across. Fire her already."

"No," Meredith argued, "Maika loves her and she can usually do things its just lately she's been busy. She's just a teenager trying to get through college. Cut her some slack."

"I will if you will," He smirked as the elevator doors opened and both walked in to the empty enclosure.

"Can you take her around with you today?" Meredith asked, ignoring the sarcasm her husband was exuding that day.

"Who? This little princess in my arms?" He looked down to Maika who was giggling at her daddy. "I don't see why not. I got no surgeries scheduled but if an emergency comes in I'll just take her to I-Z-Z-I-E."

The two parents had taken an oath with each other saying that they would never mention the name Izzie unless they were able to guarantee Maika they would actually see her within the 5 minutes of mentioning her name. Maika's love for Izzie was unreal. The last time they had broken this oath, Maika had held her breath in defiance and refused to breathe until she could see Izzie. Meredith had not taken her seriously but once she had gone blue in the face and passed out, that was when the oath was finalized. Maika had spunk to say the least and Derek knew exactly where she inherited it from.

"That sounds good," Meredith said, kissing Maika on the forehead, then Derek on the lips and got off the elevator at the surgical floor.

"Where we going Daddy?" Maika asked once the elevator had started going up again.

"Guess!"

"To see Auntie Izzie?" Maika questioned excitedly.

"Oh crap," Derek muttered under his breath. "I guess so!"

Derek privately prayed that Izzie was in the canteen eating her lunch otherwise the entire hopsital would know that Maika was not happy about the situation.

**Should i continue- yay or nay? If you like it please review and i'll continue but i'm the kind of writer who needs reviews to get motivation to continue. Seriously, reviews are like the kick up the backside!**

**Exxx**


	2. Dance the night Away

Derek walked out of the elevator and set Maika down by his side so she could walk. She could easily walk these days but at a very slow pace. She was reaching her second birthday and was a late walker, having only just started walking at 21 months. Her speech however, was another story. She had started talking at 11 months, starting with one word.

"Izzie!" Maika squealed in delight at the sight of her favourtie person in the world, and demonstrating to most the people in the canteen her first word.

"Mai!" Izzie held her arms out and picked the running toddler up into a hug. It was strange for Derek to see people such as Izzie and Meredith to be in such high positions of power in surgery after knowing them for such an extensive amount of time.

He remembered Izzie as an intern, very caring but perhaps too caring for a surgeon. There were times that Derek had doubted her abilities to distinguish between the emotional and practical sides of surgery but she had pulled through even with the drama she had endured through her time as an intern. Denny was a big factor to her success. She had nearly threatened to leave her internship to take care of him but he refused, had recovered from his surgery and was better than ever. Izzie and Denny had managed to battle through all their struggles and recently got married. No need to say who was their bridesmaid. Maika had been bought up by mainly himself and Meredith but he had no shame in saying Izzie had shaped a lot of his daugthers character.

"Hey, what is she doing here?" Izzie asked Derek.

"Didi cancelled," Derek replied, smiling at the love and affection between Iz and Mai.

"Oh, Denny could have taken her," Izzie suggested.

"Oh no, it's ok, she's going to spend her day with me. Should be fun!" Derek smirked in Izzie's direction.

"I'll bet you 20 that she ends up in my arms by the end of the day," Izzie dared.

"That's not great odds in my favour is it?" He said. "But how about a coffee?"

"Sure, I was just about to get myself one but since you're offering," Izzie stuck her tongue out at Derek and out of habit Maika imitated the action making Derek laugh at their mischievous behavior.

"Would you stop teaching her all your bad habits?" Derek asked jokingly.

"What bad habits?" Izzie responded. Derek simply rolled his eyes and went to retreive the coffee.

* * *

"What did you get up to today missy?" Meredith asked Maika who had managed to find her way back to Izzie by midday and had been with her since.

"Nofin," Maika replied, preoccupied with the locker door she was holding onto.

"Derek went into surgery at 5 but he said it would only take until 8," Izzie informed Meredith.

"OK. Iz," Meredith paused. "I have something to tell you,"

"Oh my God, are you pregnant?" Izzie asked, making a joke at her seriousness.

"Well," Meredith started. She didn't have to finish her statement as all she heard were high-pitched screams coming from Izzie. Maika was startled by the outburst but once she saw it was happy screaming she joined in with the celebrations, oblivious to the cause. She was picked up by Izzie and placed on the bench whilst she performed her happy dance.

Meredith giggled but then stopped all the chaos.

"Stop," Meredith managed to say through the giggles. "I haven't told Derek yet."

"Does he want another child?" Izzie asked.

Meredith simply shrugged and looked down towards the beauty of her daughter that Derek had given her. Without Maika or Derek she would be a wreck and she knew it but she didn't know how Derek was going to react to another child. They had not been trying for another but then again, there had been many a discussion about at least 5 children.

"If he doesn't, how do you think he'll react?" Meredith asked, her vulnerability shining through her question.

"You got nothing to worry about," Iz reassured her best friend.

* * *

"ARGH," Meredith groaned as she walked into the kitchen at 6 the next morning. She had just thrown up but that wasn't the reason for her frustration. She lowered herself gently onto a chair opposite Derek at the kitchen table. To Derek she looked great, wearing her cute Dartmouth t-shirt, his boxer shorts and huge slipper socks that could be passed as a giants.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked.

"Nothing," Meredith replied. "Where is Maika by the way?"

"Still asleep," Derek answered. "She must have been tired from all that adorable screaming she managed to produce last night."

"Huh, I missed all that. Didi cancelled again," Meredith said, not wanting to approach the subject of the useless babysitter but knowing she would have to eventually. Granted, Maika loved her and Meredith felt sorry for her but it was getting a bit ridiculous.

"I'm telling you…" Derek began.

"I know," Meredith interrupted before he had a chance to finish that sentence. She reached her feet up from the ground and placed them on Derek's lap. He looked down to where they had landed and started to rub them with one hand. "So why was Mai up all night screaming?"

"She complained that her leg was hurting and that it hurt to lay down but I don't know if she was just tired or not," Derek said.

"Should we book an appointment with Dr. Caddle?" Meredith suggested, pouring herself out some coffee.

"No, it's probably nothing," Derek dismissed the pains in his daughter as tiredness so as to not worry Meredith.

"I'll take her round with me today," Meredith said. "I got one surgery in the morning but its pretty simple. I'll get Mark or Addison to cover for me."

"They're both in Vermont at the moment," Derek said, referring to the couple who had only been together for the whole of two weeks and were already taking weekend trips together.

"Iz?" Meredith asked.

"Just get a resident to do it," Derek said.

"You are just full of good ideas today huh?" She asked smiling towards him.

"Oh, of course," Derek produced his winning smile back in her direction.

"Do you want to get her up or shall I?" Meredith asked.

"I'll do it," Derek said, placing Meredith's cold feet back on the ground. "She likes me better anyway."

She laughed at his comment and the tickling she had received before he left the room.

* * *

"Mummy," Maika moaned for the gazillionth time that day.

"What is it?" Meredith's fuse was getting shorter by the second. Usually Maika was a well-behaved child who was intrigued by the smallest things, making her easy to handle but today she certainly wanted to test the waters. Hormones were swimming around Meredith faster than she could register.

"It hurts," Maika complained.

"Where?" Meredith asked.

Maika pointed to her left leg and Meredith bent down to take a closer look, even though Mai had trousers on. Maika's bottom lip started quivering and tears began to well up in her eyes. Meredith looked into the deep blue pools that she recognized as her husbands and couldn't take it any longer. Her maternal side was too strong and so she picked her little girl up, carried her down to the children's ward.

"Susan?" Meredith inquired down the corridor towards her collegue.

"Oh hey Meredith," Susan Caddle replied, genuinely happy to see her. "Hey Maika."

Maika waved sadly as the pain was evidently still there.

"Are you busy?" Meredith asked. "Maika is in pain and I don't have a clue what to do. She's not responding to calpol."

As soon as it came to her own child, Meredith turned into normal mother mode. She was a cool-headed surgeon around other people's children but her own? Well, the frantic questions and eager facial expressions were routine.

"I waiting for a patient to come back from having X-rays so I got some time now," Dr Caddle offered.

Meredith nodded gratefully and followed Susan for the examination. Throughout the examination, Maika had not stopped crying, screaming, refusing to do anything she was told. It was not her usual behaviour.

"Come back tomorrow once we've run the blood tests and we'll have the results," Dr Caddle told the worried mother. "Until then, just keep giving her pain relief or perhaps massage the legs."

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews and sorry this was a bit of a slow chapter but its just starting the plot. Hope you liked the little bits of fluff though! And for once, i get to write Izzies character!! YAY! lol, please let me know what you think and if i should continue...**


	3. Would you play it how we say it?

**Thank you to all who reviewed!! i was ever so grateful... what is wrong with Maika? you're about to find out!!!**

The following day, for once Didi hadn't cancelled on the Shepherd family. The one day she was free happened to be the day that Meredith cancelled on Didi.

"You coming to her appointment Derek?" Meredith asked her husband. It had been another rough night for Derek, having been the one that Maika had screamed out in pain to. He simply nodded and grabbed his jacket.

On the way to the hospital, Derek had decided to sit in the back with Maika whilst Meredith drived.

"Does it hurt again?" Derek asked in response to Maika's crying. The sight of his little angel crying broke his heart, especially knowing he couldn't do anything for her. He reached over to the carseat that Maika was sat in and began to rub the chubby little legs poking out underneath the purple cordal miniskirt. She began to squirm and her legs made the movements of her infamous dance.

"Mai, how come you're dancing?" Derek asked.

"It huwt's when I don't do it," Maika cried through the tears. Derek looked worriedly into the mirror where he met Meredith's blue sparkly eyes. She had always claimed that Maika's eyes are a hundred percent his but as he stared into them, it was like looking into his daughters eyes.

He then looked over to the crying toddler who's cries had subsided and she was now putting all her energy and concentration into moving her hips and legs in an attempt to do a dance whilst strapped in a carseat.

She was a mini Meredith; stubborn, intelligent, had him wrapped around her little finger, beautiful, gorgeous, hard to read but worth every second. She had Meredith's honey blond hair with Derek's swooping wavy curls embracing her rosy cheeks. The cute button nose, sparkling blue eyes and small smile that was hard to resist were all courtesy of Meredith, Derek was sure of it.

The family pulled up to the hospital and walked swiftly to the Dr Caddle's office. Once there, they bumped into Izzie and George who were checking on a patient.

"What are you guys doing here?" George asked, smiling at Maika who had managed to produce a smile, evidently still in pain.

"Maika's been in a lot of pain with her legs for the last week but it suddenly started getting really bad yesterday so I brought her down here to see what was up," Meredith explained.

Maika didn't even have the energy to perk up for Izzie. She smiled in Izzie's direction but clung tightly onto her mother's neck. Izzie walked over and kissed her head, rubbing her back.

"So," Derek said. "We're going to miss our appointment if we don't go now."

"OK," Meredith whimpered, dreading the next hour or so.

"Have you told him," Izzie whispered as Derek walked away.

"No," Meredith said, "I want to wait for the best moment."

Izzie simply nodded and waved goodbye to Maika.

"Hope it's nothing serious," George said sympathetically.

"It won't be," Izzie reassured, perhaps more for herself than George. "It better not be."

"She's just so cute!" George exclaimed, still not getting over the fact that Meredith, one of his first friends in this place had a near two-year-old. He often tended to turn girly around children but then again, it often attracted girls to him so he didn't see it as a bad thing.

"Well," Dr Caddle started. "We ran the tests and it appears that Maika has RLS."

"What's RLS?" Meredith asked.

"Restless Leg Syndrome," Derek told her.

"Yes," Dr Caddle said in response to Derek's answer. "It is a condition that is treatable so she can easily cope with it. From the symptoms you described yesterday Meredith, it seems it is Secondary RLS meaning that it suddenly started and occurs everyday but also fades at times."

Susan Caddle paused to let this information register. Derek simply nodded and Meredith looked down to her baby who was currently playing with some toys, squirming slightly.

"RLS is where there is an urge to move most likely the legs, to relieve discomfort. It's often misdiagnosed as growing pains but from her blood results we're sure it's RLS. It is inherited."

"All this time we thought she was doing a cute little dance, she was actually relieveing pain in her legs? And whatever has caused this RLS in Mai has a chance of effected future children?" Meredith asked.

Dr Caddle nodded. Derek put his head in his hands and let the information digest.

"Like I said, you can easily treat it. We checked her ferritin levels and found that she has iron deficiencies. I'm just going to suggest giving her iron supplements by mouth," Dr Caddle was very relaxed about it all.

"OK," Meredith had resorted to her surgeon characteristics, her maternal side wanting to break down and cry.

"If the movements do not stop after a week then come back, we'll run more tests in case there is some underlying cause," Dr Caddle said.

Derek nodded, thanked Susan and picked Maika up, embracing her tiny frame and left the ward. Meredith followed silently.

"Mummy, what's wrong?" Maika asked.

"Well, your legs aren't feeling well baby and we need to give you some medicin for it, ok?" Meredith informed the tiny person.

"OK," Maika happily said.

Derek reached for Meredith's hand and once he felt it, he received a grateful squeeze.

"What is wrong?" George asked the approaching family. He was sat with a worried Izzie and semi-calm Denny.

"Unky Denny!" Maika squealed, gaining her energy back.

"Hello cutiepie," He said in his deep voice.

"Well, she has RLS," Derek told the table, joining them and resting Maika down on the ground so she could run to Denny.

"Restless Leg Syndrome?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah," Meredith said. She was still processing the information.

"Well, that's easlily treated," George said in support.

"Yeah," Derek said. The couple were still in shock.

"Do they know the cause?" Izzie asked.

"Genes and iron deficiencies," Meredith said, looking at Izzie signalling her worry to tell Derek about another baby who could also have RLS.

"Mer, come get a coffee with me," Izzie said.

Once reaching the coffee cart, Meredith turned to her friend.

"Tell him," Izzie simply ordered.

"I can't. You!" Meredith said. "Go now, tell him. I can't. What if he flips out?"

Izzie slapped Meredith on the forehead.

"Snap out of it!" She exclaimed. "You do know Derek loves you yeah?"

"Of course," Meredith answered.

"Well suck it up and tell him," Izzie ordered again.

"No!" Meredith refused.

"Fine, I will," Izzie rolled her eyes.

"Derek," Izzie said quickly, once rejoining the table, leaving Meredith at the coffee cart. "Meredith's pregnant."

Derek started choking on the piece of sandwich he had stolen off George.

"What?" Derek asked once he had finished the bite of sandwich. "You serious?"

Izzie nodded. He looked over to Meredith and smiled. He rose from his seat, walking over to Meredith, embracing her tightly and causing her feet to leave the ground amidst his enthusiasm. He kissed her passionately, her legs wrapping around his body in the heat of the moment. Once he had pulled away from the kiss, her hands managed to find their way to his hair, stroking it lovingly.

"You're happy about this?" She asked him quietly.

"Yeah, aren't you?" He asked, in the same calm tone, still supporting her body weight.

She rested her forehead against his and nodded, making his head bounce up and down with hers. The couple joined the table, Meredith walking over to Maika and rubbing the top of her head and Denny kissing Meredith on the cheek, congratulating her.

"Yay," Maika said, still oblivious to celebrations but wanting to dance anyway. George, Denny and Izzie congratulated the couple and looked on with jealousy of their complete perfection as they sat down smiling at each other, holding hands.

**Please let me know what you think...**


	4. Cos we're choosing to groove

It had been a month since Maika's diagnosis. Everything had settled back to the way it was, just with Maika receiving iron supplements. Meredith and Derek had managed to cope with the problems and found the syndrome very easy to deal with compared to some of the stuff they saw at work.

Since finding out about the pregnancy, Derek had been treating Meredith to all his attention.

"DEREK! Stop hovering!" Meredith exclaimed whilst brushing her teeth.

"Sorry," Derek sighed, still watching her but taking a step back so he was now leaning against the door frame.

"You know I could probably get a restraining order against your stalkerish ways?" Meredith threw a smirk in his direction.

"Well you could. But then you'd miss out on this," He made hand gestures to his body.

"Ohhh… I wouldn't want to do that would I?" Meredith played the game, knowing that if she snapped, he'd hover even more.

"No, cos this body doesn't like to go to waste. And it's natural instinct is to reject any woman that isn't you and well… think of the waste…" Derek's sly look narrowed as she slowly made her way towards him, stopping in front of him and propping her hands up against his chest. Her hands gracefully traced patterns across his muscles and round to his upper arms, shoulder and neck.

"Such a waste… tragic in fact…" Her breathing became laboured as he slowly moved his lips towards hers. The kiss started feather light but quickly grew with intensity as her hands flew to his perfectly shaped hair, his arms rubbed up and down her back and both were leaning against the wall of the corridor.

"EWWWWWW!" Maika's scream was echoing for a good five seconds in the guilty parent's ears.

"Crap," Derek muttered under his breath to Meredith.

"What are you doing?" Maika asked, still in a high-pitched squeal.

"Nothing honey," Meredith answered, Derek looking in the opposite direction, trying to concentrate on something other than his wife's body pressed up against him. "Why don't you go back to watching tv?"

"Can daddy come with me?"

"Erm… daddy can't really move very well at the moment, can you?" Meredith asked Derek, smirking and feeling his erection against her body.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you? This could damage her for life," Derek scowled at his wife.

"Is Didi coming to babysit today?" Maika asked.

"Nope, you got me all to yourself," Derek answered, finally being able to look at his daughter who hadn't moved from the opposite end of the corridor for the duration of the awkward scene.

"Oh yippee," Maika's sarcasm shocked both Meredith and Derek.

"I told you we shouldn't let Cristina babysit… ever!" Derek said.

"Right, I'm off to work," Meredith called over Derek's claim of Cristina influencing their daughter's sarcastic manner.

"Meet you at 8 in the lobby?" Meredith asked, regarding their date. It had been exactly 7 years since they had met and this, according to Izzie, was a reason for a big celebration.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Derek winked, stealing a quick kiss before she left his grasp. Meredith giggled, which only got louder and more violent as Derek leant down to her stomach's level, pulled her top up and started ferociously smothering her smooth skin in kisses.

"Bye bye baby," Derek yelled into the stomach.

"Derek!" Meredith managed to get through the giggles. "I gotta go." She managed to wriggle out of her husbands grasp.

"Bye Mai-moo," Meredith chirped in a surprisingly good mood. That mood was all down to a certain man who she was certain was checking her out as she walked away and towards the stairs. She stopped by her daughter to kiss her goodbye, her back to Derek. As she beant down to her daughter, kissing her head, cheeks, hair, lips, anything she could, Derek got an eye full of Meredith's blooming shape. The pregnancy was making her look hotter than ever and she knew it.

Meredith was whispering something to Maika, turned her head whilst still bent over with her ass in the air and caught his eye. She smirked, winking and slowly picking her frame back up to it's normal height.

"Oh God… you're killing me here, Mer. GO, before I do something we'll both regret," Derek ordered, smiling.

"8, right?"

"GO!"

**Haven't updated in like... 7 years possibly... ok well, not that long but i've been busy and i'm very sorry for that. i finally finished my other fic Loveless. So, this is my next aim... to finish this lovely lil story. Thought i'd do a quick fill in chapter to see if anyone was still reading and if you are... review and let me know and then i'll continue**

**xxxxx**


	5. It's an understated sign

**OK... this is set about a week before the baby is due... round about 6 months after the last chapter... i don't know, i've lost count!**

Today was the day. The day for the last check up on the baby. Each time they had one of these check ups Meredith's nerves raised through the roof but it was always Derek's face that bought her back to reality and let her feel secure about her pregnancy.

Meredith felt a small kick as she raised herself from the bath and she smiled, knowing that in a very short amount of time, she'd be seeing him- her son, their son. The perfect family was almost complete and Meredith couldn't have been happier in life than at that moment.

"Hey," Derek called as he saw her descend the stairs. "You ready to go?"

"Yeha," Meredith replied. "Where's Mai?"

"In the car and ready to go," Derek said, being the perfect husband he always is.

"Excellent," Meredith winced at the struggle it took to finally reach the bottom of the stairs. "ARGH, GET OUT OF ME!"

Derek laughed at his wife's frustration, remembering her exactly the same way with Maika.

They reached the hospital fifteen minutes later and walked up to the grand entrance.

"IZZIE!" Maika spotted Izzie from her position and ran over to give her a hug.

"Woah," Izzie gasped at the impact Maika had hit Izzie with.

"When's your appointment?" She asked Meredith.

"Later at 4," Meredith said, looking at the clock and noticing it was only nine in the morning.

"You just hanging around here until then?" She asked.

"Yeah," Meredith shrugged.

"I gotta go honey, page me when you're ready to see Addison." Derek kissed Meredith on the cheek and reluctantly let go of her hand he'd been holding.

"OK, bye," Meredith called.

"BYE DADDY," Maika shouted across the entrance lobby. Meredith saw Derek turn around and smile before jogging off.

* * *

"Something's not right," Meredith said, her hand on the baby.

"What do you mean?" Izzie said, panicked by Meredith's facial expression. They were sat in the cafeteria, music was playing, a song well known to Meredith and her son growing inside her…

_Days can be sunny with never a sigh  
Don't need what money can buy  
Birds in the trees sing their dayful of songs  
Why shouldn't we sing along?  
I'm chipper all the day  
Happy with my life  
How do I get that way?  
Look at what I've got:_

_I got rhythm, I got music, I got my man  
Who could ask for anything more?  
I've got daisies in green pastures  
I've got my man  
Who could ask for anything more?_

Old man trouble, I don't mind him  
You won't find him 'round my door  
I've got starlight  
I've got sweet dreams  
I've got my man  
Who could ask for anything more?

Oh, I've got rhythm  
I've got music  
I've got daisies in green pastures  
I've got starlight  
I've got sweet dreams  
I've got my man  
Who could ask for anything more?

"What do you mean something isn't right?" Izzie repeated the question, snapping Meredith out of her thoughts.

"The baby isn't kicking or moving," Meredith said, tears welling in her eyes.

"So…" Izzie said, not understanding Meredith's traumatic face.

"This is his favourite song, he always moves and kicks violently. He isn't moving," Meredith repeated.

"Maybe he's just having a little rest," Izzie said, not panicking anymore.

"Yeah… that's it. Nothing's wrong. He's just tired," Meredith said this in an attempt to reassure herself.

"Exactly," Izzie reinforced. She was sat back on a chair, a sleeping Maika sprawled out on top of her with her legs wrapped around her waist.

"I wonder what he's going to look like," Meredith pondered.

"I think he'll be a replica of Derek," Izzie thought out loud.

"Really?" Meredith said, skeptical.

"Yeah… I can see his eyes having those bright sparkles that you always have when you look at Mai or Derek… but _his_ eyes will be blue not green... it will be like looking into Derek's pools of McDreaminess! I can picture him with his cute button nose that Maika has and a little mouth that can easily tilt into a McDreamy smile…"

Meredith laughed, a tear welling in her eye due to Izzie's description."What else?" She asked Izzie, calming her tears down.

"… I can imagine him coming out of you with dark long hair which will eventually start to curl as he becomes a toddler. And then, whenever he sees either of his parents, or even me and Denny, his face will light up and become alive with energy. He'll make us all laugh with the silly things that boys tend to do as a kid. He'll grow up and become a total womanizer like his daddy…"

Meredith laughed.

"… and on graduation day when we'll all be there... Maika will give him a huge hug as he comes off stage and then he'll be surrounded by his friends and family congratulating him whilst his parent's look on with tears filling their eyes. He'll look at you and realize how proud you are of him and his bright sparkly blue eyes will see how much you love him. As he grows up even more, he'll attempt to find the love that he knows exists, thanks to watching you two. He finds her… he meets her in a bar after a first day at work. They have a fling and after two years make something of it. He asks her to marry him, getting tips off his father and she willingly accepts to such a handsome man. He'll be watching her walk down the aisle and look to his parents in the congregation, looking for their approval one last time which he'll gain, before he makes a life of his own… a family of his own. And through the whole of his life, the constant thing he'll know is how much he is loved…"

Meredith's cheeks were soaking from the tears that had been freely flowing. Izzie looked to Meredith, out of her trance and saw she was crying.

"Damn you Izzie. You and hormones," Meredith attempted to laugh off the tears but it didn't work.

"Sorry," Izzie smiled.

"Don't be, that was beautiful," Meredith said quietly. "You prepare that speech earlier?"

"Haha…no but I always think about stuff like that," Izzie replied.

"You're such a hopeless romantic Izzie Stevens," She heard Denny's voice behind her and signalled for him to be quiet because of Maika sleeping.

"Sorry," he whispered. "What's going on?"

"Meredith is going for her last check up," Izzie told him.

"Awesome, good luck," He smiled, kissing Meredith on the head before sitting down next to Izzie.

"Thanks, and I better get going other wise I'll be late," Meredith said. "You sure it's ok if she stays with you?"

"Yeah," izzie shrugged about the sleeping form of Maika.

"See you guys later," Meredith smiled as she walked towards the elevator to collect her husband.

* * *

"When was the last time you're sure you felt the baby move?" Addison asked Meredith, moving the ultrasound censor across her protruding stomach.

"In the bath this morning," Meredith said, her eyes welling up sensing something was wrong.

Both Derek and Meredith looked at the screen to where their little boy was still. Derek's voice had disappeared as the tears threatened to spill and he gripped onto his wife's hand.

"No bleeding, no cramping?" Addison checked with Meredith.

Meredith closed her eyes shut whilst shaking her head. Tears had become the usual as of late but these tears were of a different kind.

"No, no bleeding or cramping," Meredith whispered. Addison looked to Derek for confirmation and he shook his head 'no'.

Addison looked back to the screen and sighed, dreading what was to come of this exam.

"Right, you'll feel a little buzzing," Addison told her patient as tears started to well in her eyes. They didn't deserve this. She held the eletric shocker up to the stomach and turn it on in an attempt to make the baby's reflexes kick in and signal he was still alive.

The three people in the room looked hopeful towards the screen at the boy who held so much happiness in the Shepherd's life. The baby remained still. Derek's leg impatiently moved, his hand still gripping Meredith's. They both looked to Addison who refused to look them in the face, sniffing as tears threatened to spill. Meredith could take it no longer and let out a cry, looking towards Derek who kissed the top of her head.

"And another one," Addison told them.

She repeated the electric shock and looked down when the baby remained still in the screen. A single tear fell for the couple in the room. She looked over at them and Meredith's eyes were shut in pain, tears freely sweeping down her face, dropping onto her chest. Derek's mouth twitched in frustration. He went to speak and a whimper came out followed by his question…

"Are you sure you got the position over the head?" His pain was evident in his voice and it broke through the sentence. Addison nodded slowly.

"Yes."

Meredith breathed deeply inwards as the pain took over her body and the grief fused with her mind. The shaking was uncontrollable and Derek couldn't even stop her. She wept knowing what was coming.

"Derek, sit down," Addison told him as his eyes were glazed over. "Take Meredith's hand."

Derek knew what that meant. He'd told people to do that too many times. He let a whimper go and his tears started to reflect Meredith's. He looked at her and she couldn't control the constant shaking that was taking over her body. She couldn't breathe. He went to her and held her tiny vulnderable body in his arms, the shaking still not subsiding. He let her grip onto him, weeping into his chest and grasping the tuffs of hair at the base of his neck. Her hands couldn't stop moving and the tears would not stop flowing.

"I've been looking. There is no heart beat…"

Meredith gasped inwards, hearing the words for the first time. Awareness of the situation kicked in and her breathing got worse.

"There's no body movement…" Addison continued, tears of her own spilling. She lifted her head to the ceiling so she didn't have to see the pain she was causing the couple.

Meredith started to hyperventilate against Derek's body, and he attempted to calm her down but the grief oozed through her body and into his own.

"I'm so sorry…" Addison cried. "Derek… Meredith… the baby died…"

Addison left as soon as possible as she heard Meredith's crying turn into laments of anguish and distress. Derek kept hold of her body as they both collapsed into each other further, struggling to breathe through the tears, crying taking control.

**One more chapter to go... please review**


	6. Joshua David Shepherd

**The final chapter. There has been a mention of a sequel. I'm more than happy to do a sequel if that's what people want but enough people need to want it for me to do it! Please, read, enjoy and review the last chapter of Dance until it starts to hurt and finally a HUGE thank you to those who have reviewed... i've loved writing this story.**

"Daniel Luke Shepherd, get your cute lil butt down these stairs now!" Meredith yelled up the stairs to her four-year-old son. She had ten minutes to get to the hospital for a surgery. Maika had already been in the car, probably pretending to drive it and probably already mastering it, for five minutes waiting for her younger brother of four years. Meredith had enjoyed every second of Maika's childhood, the tantrums, the problems, the laughter, the cuteness and was looking forward to the next stage in her life. At eight now, Maika had managed to convince the general public that she was as old as eighteen but her mother was not fool-able.

"DANIEL!" Meredith yelled. At the tone of this voice, Daniel Shepherd left his dinosaur toy on his bedroom floor and decided it was time to put his mother out of her misery.

"I don't want to go!" Daniel complained to his mother as he joined her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Tough," Meredith told him. "You'll get to see Uncle Denny and Auntie Izzie and Daddy is there…"

At this thought, Daniel's head seemed to perk up slightly and he seemed to move slightly quicker in his movements. Meredith had never forgotten that dreaded day of loosing her first son. She had managed to convince herself she was over it and was moving on but how does a mother move on from loosing the one thing that matters most in their life? Daniel had arrived a year later than that dreaded day and Meredith kept the words that Izzie had said with her and probably would for life. She saw the way Daniel looked at herself and Derek with such adoration that it made her love her son more and more every second, if it were possible. His bright sparkling blue eyes were always a hit since he was an infant and he was learning how to use them to his advantage, just as his father had.

After a short car journey, and 2 minutes to spare, the three of them arrived at the hospital and Maika rushed to get out the front seat and ran towards the hospital.

"Maika, get back here now," Meredith called across the car park. Maika looked back and looked defeated as she shrugged her shoulders, returning to her mother at the car. "Nice try though. You got further than usual!"

"Thanks," Maika smiled. She had picked up a lot on her mother's habits including her sarcastic comments and even found it came in handy when in trouble with her parents. They told her off, she made a sarcastic comment which often made her mother laugh and her father think of her mother so either way it was a win, win situation.

"Can you hold onto Dan's hand," Meredith asked Maika. Maika did as she was told as the family crossed the car park to Seattle Grace entrance. She looked down to her little brother and felt slight jealousy. They seemingly got along very well, they loved each other as all siblings should and she was the typical older sister who protected her little brother in the playground at school whenever necessary. However, Daniel always made her feel jealous of what he had. He was the youngest and he took that from her. She used to be the cute one, the one who made her parents say 'awwww' at the slightest mis-pronounced word, the one who couldn't do anything wrong, the one who was spoilt by her father's attention as well as with presents. Daniel had come along and not only was he the first son, he was the son that her parent's had lost in a way. Maika was sure it would soon turn it's head and they would become so overprotective of him, he'd end up hating it but at this present time, she wanted what her little brother had. She had her parent's attention but in a different way from what she used to.

"Mai-moo," Daniel looked up at her.

"What?" Maika asked.

"Can you take me to Auntie Izzie and Uncky Denny?" He looked hopeful. Maika remembered her little obsession with her Aunt Izzie. It had never really subsided and 'little' obsession was a bit of an understatement. These days Izzie was more of an older sister to her, talking about all sorts from boys to how annoying Daniel could sometimes be. Denny had remained the same Denny. He still saw Maika as his own child whether Derek and Meredith were present or not. They had no control over the special relationship he seemed to have with Maika. She was the type of child who had a special relationship with each of the people in her life. In her older years, she seemed to also have connected with Cristina on a human level which takes skill, Meredith was surprised to say the least.

"Sure, I don't know where they are but we'll try find them ok?" Maika said, looking to her mother for her approval to leave her side and explore the hospital. Over the last eight years, Maika had become well known in the hospital and even Daniel was creating a reputation for himself. Derek and Meredith were both amazing, world-renown surgeons but their children were far from it and liked to create mischief as much as possible. The only time they'd really gotten in trouble was when they had found a box on the wall in the basement and caused the whole hospital's power to run down.

As soon as Maika left the lift on the surgery floor, she dropped Daniel's hand, knowing full well he could walk by her side without acting as her puppy-dog. She approached the nurse's station and saw Tyler the nurse writing up a chart.

"Hey Tyler," Maika said, approaching the desk she could barely see over. She was still very small for her age as was Daniel. They both inherited their mother's skinny gene but the height issue sometimes became a problem for Maika, especially when she was trying to act older than eight.

"Hi Mai… Hey Dan," Tyler responded, looking at where the greeting had come from.

"You seen Izzie, my dad or Denny?" She asked.

"Hmmmm… Izzie is in the on-call room, your dad is in the second conference room and dear Denny has not come in yet," Tyler informed the children.

"OK, thanks," Daniel smiled before walking off in the conference room direction whilst Maika went in search of Izzie.

"Hey champ," Derek looked up from his work to see who had opened the door. "You here with Mummy or Maika?"

"No, I just walked off," Daniel said as if it were nothing.

"What?" Derek asked, panicking. "Does anyone know where you are?"

Daniel nodded.

"Ohhhh ok," Derek breathed a sigh of relief.

"What you doing?" Daniel asked taking a seat next to his father and struggling to climb on the large conference chair.

"A little thing called work. You wouldn't know about it don't worry," Derek told him at the puzzled look at the word work. Derek watched him struggle with the chair and ended up scooping the weightless boy into his own arms, causing a giggle from Daniel's mouth.

"Why is mummy so moody today?" Daniel asked innocently.

"Well, you know it's coming up to your birthday soon yeah?" Derek said, trying to simplify things for the young mind.

"Mmmhmm," Daniel smiled excitedly.

"Right… everytime just before your birthday me and your mummy go to the place where all the dead people are buried to visit Joshua, remember?" Derek had explained this year after year. It's not like Daniel forgot about his brother but just never really experienced what it meant to loose it. Maika had a much better understanding and even once in a while came to one of her many parent's and spoke of memories of pregnant Meredith.

"But Joshua isn't here so how can you visit him?" Daniel asked innocently.

"We just visit a little piece of stone saying his name on it. Sort of something to remember him by," Derek told him.

"Oh…" Daniel sighed, wrapping his arms sleepily around his father's neck and clinging on for a hug. Derek wrapped his arms around his son and found comfort from the pain that was ripping his heart out. It had been five years since that day. He'd never forget it, not a single moment. He seemed to have an imprint on his brain and sometimes it came to haunt him in his dreams, creeping up at him when he least expected.

"You want to say anything Maika?" Derek asked her as she stood at her little brother's gravestone, surrounded by Izzie, Denny, Meredith and her father.

"Yeah but could you guys go for a bit maybe?" Maika asked politely.

"Take your time sweety pie," Denny said in his comforting deep voice. Maika smiled in response and waited for the four adults to be out of earshot and facing the opposite way before leaning over to her brother's gravestone. She sat down in front of it and read the name…

'Joshua David Shepherd

Presence was missed but is never forgotten,

Only a potential of love and greatness'

She didn't quite understand what the gravestone said but she understood the situation. She came here as much as possible on her own. Joshua was the only she could truly talk to about her problems without being shouted at or judged. She leant over and placed her single rose by the base of the gravestone.

"I know I haven't been in a while but I've been kind of busy. School is pretty hectic, I mean last week I got two sets of homework and had to read for five minutes a day. Insane right?" Maika paused as if waiting for a response.

"Well, Daniel hasn't been much of a help. He is always playing up to the youngest thing and always needs attention which he never fails to get. I don't get what he has that I don't. I just wish there was someone to share my pain. Maybe if you were here you'd understand what I meant with him. I'm the only one who knows what it's like to have him as a younger brother. If you were here you would know too. I wish you were here… I wish you were here… I wish you were here…"

Maika continued to repeat the words, silently praying to God that it would come true and magically she would have Joshua appear next to her but it didn't work.

"What would you have looked like?" She asked after realizing the wish was not to come true. "Trademark Shepherd blue eyes, my smile, Daddy's hair, mummy's nose and of course, we'd look much more similar to what me and Daniel do. I wish you were here…"

She never stopped wishing and after all these years and the following years to come, she would never stop wishing that for just one moment in her life, she could meet the boy who meant so much to the Shepherd family.

**please review, thanks**


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